i'm feeling pretty good. ran and ran and i actually came in first a couple of times for our sprints during track. and i hit a max of 23.5 mph on my bicycle. just gotta wait until i hit....45mph! da da da DA! keep the tradition, kayes-zing it every monday. darn womenfolk. they borrow money but never return it. lawyer's appt tomorrow, whoopee. cindy! you bum!
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my rough draft for an argolog cartoon: the destructive and rated R content found in english books assigned to kids in english.. opinion input?

Well I was sitting, waiting, wishing
biked away my frustration and confusion at two minutes a mile this afternoon.
ran through my head what i could say or could not say on the ride back home
but decided that.
i'm confused.

The Lord knows that this world is cruel
I ain't the Lord, I'm just a fool
and in love with somebody don't make them love you

Must I always be waiting, waiting on you
Must I always be playing, playing your fool

I sang your songs, I danced your dance
I gave your friends all a chance
Putting up with them wasn't worth never having you

Maybe you've been through this before
But it's my first time so please ignore
These next few lines because they're directed at you

I can't always be waiting, waiting on you
I can't always be playing, playing your fool

I keep playing your part
But it's not my scene
Want this plot to twist
I've had enough mystery
Keep building it up
Then shooting me down
But I'm already down

Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting
Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting

Well if I was in your position
I'd put down all my amuntintion
I'd wonder why it had taken me so long

But the lord knows that I'm not you
and if I was I wouldn't be so cruel
cause waitin' on love ain't so easy to do

Must I always be waiting, waiting
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i went to physical therapy. what a bust.
so i went to roundtable's pizzza and hablado con el jefe.
i might get a job by saturday. whoozah.

so later i might go on my roof again, like yesterday, and just play the guitar.
nice. bright. white. night. lights in the sky and from the lampposts.

i need a harmonica neck stand! the one i'm working with right now is made from stolen fence wire and rubberbands......RUBBERBANDS! ai...

(check above header pic)

nothing is as powerfully moving as the simple honesty of an unwarranted confession, the sudden breakdown of social protocol, the uprooting of the stoic walls wherein are contained our own feeble emotional shortcomings, the irrevocable precursor to the "i love you's" and the "it's over's" and the "i'm sorry's". perhaps, like all beauty, it is only beautiful when contrasted with the overwhelming majority of our daily lies, the "fine, thanks'" and the "all right, how 'bout yerself's" and the "no, nothing's wrong's". much like a star's beauty is hidden in the daytime, so would be honesty's beauty be hidden in a world where honesty is the dominating force behind our nearly incessant communication. but, even then, would we better realize the beauty of a lie?

the key to the serious undertaking of really enjoying life is to love all of it, and to find beauty even in the things which we daily experience.
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i was running home and i saw this chain linked post so i tried to hurdle over the chain but my trail leg was too low and it got caught so i fell onto the cement and now my jaw hurts and my hand hurts and my shins hurt because my hamstring was pulled 2 days ago when i drove my bike home real fast in the middle of going to The Block because i left my wallet at home. oh and i went to conclave today. i wanna post some pictures but i don't have any.
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i like my camera.
good times




angela's post-its went to good use


cindy


i doodle when i'm bored. "c" for CONAN.


my new dali print


so i heard that sleeping in front of the microwave gives you extraordinary radioactive brain super powers.

now i think....how would a guitar made outtah chocolate look like?....


what dah?! wow. mmmmm sounds sweet and tastes sweet too.
now.... how would a guitar made outtah gummy bears look like?

my bike.

matters more to me than people think. not the bike itself, but the things that come with it. i feel content when i'm cruising on it at six of the afternoon on some summer day with the clouds all fluffy and the breeze blowing. i could feel alive when i'm zooming and zipping so fast that i pass cars and my hair gets blown by the wind into such crazy hairdos. and on those days that i need to clear my head or get rid of stress.... i ride my bicycle. i feel free. free of troubles and free to go anywhere i want. i haven't ridden my bike since the accident.

everything is back to the way it was. seems to me that when i was hurt, people cared. now that i look okay, the people left.

i'm currrently feeling..
i'm just wasting my days wishing and waiting for the girl who is wishing and waiting for me to leave. i'm sure there must be some logic in this that i might've overlooked. you're miserable and i'm miserable because you want me to go away. if i left, then you'd still be miserable and i would me the same. typing seems a welcome substitute to writing. at the moment, i couldn't hold a pen.
cindy..

girls suck.
they all want me to leave them.

i feel like shit.

how else would i look after i got hit by a car?


life's good.

after the crash i almost couldn't remember anything. it felt like i was on the other side of a dream, that my life was just an illusion and everything would be gone when i woke up. the last memory of cindy i had played over and over again like a broken record player. in these moments, i wished my life was real, that it would be there when i wake up. i kept seeing the face of the man who hit me and yet, i can't remember it. his face was stoic, nonchalant, just staring at me while i spat blood over and over on the sidewalk. his arms were crossed, he seemed to say "damnit, this is such a waste of my time." he and his black mercedes benz seemed as cold as how i was shaking. i don't remember much. and what little thought i had kept repeating and bouncing around in my  head. me spitting blood on the pavement, the man who hit me staring at me, the orthodontist and what he would say when he saw my teeth, blurry visions, a thought that everyone i knew would be wisps of smoke. stop. repeat.  i remembered that the guy who was helping me. he was from the fire department. they put me on a stretcher and put me in the back of an ambulance. there were two men in hte back, paramedics i guess. i could hardly remember what my name was. they aked me what day i thought it was, i said monday. it was a thursday. i couldn't remember what i was doing. a paramedic spoke into his radio "mild concussion". i could feel one of my front teeth with my tongue; it wasn't where i thought it would be. the car hit me diagonally, i was in his line of vision, he thought he and his slick car could cut in front of me fast enough. an iv tube was hooked up to my arm. i got transfered to the uci medical center near the block. the attendents and nurses introduced themselves to me and told me their names. i honestly don't even remember how they look. my face hurted badly. they gave me morphine. they asked me questions throughout. i talked but my swollen face kept me semi-incoherent. a man pulled out two of my brackets which got lodged in my lips. my othrodontist would tell me later that i might need three root canals. but at that time, i couldn't feel a thing anyway. the morphine kept me numb. my head felt hot. i got a tetanus shot. they phoned my parents. they gave me a cat scan. my brother was crying in the lobby. htey told me to drink some weird liquid. i was transferred to the trauma ward. they cut up my tshirts. my tie was saved. they stuck weird circles all over my body. i couldn't stop shaking. but....then everything was fine. i survived, nothing big.

i did a little dance outside the hospital. my parents are looking for a lawyer. i visisted the ortho today. i will visit my doctor soon. oh, and i'm going to visit the place where the accident ocurred and point out my blood stains.

overall, i'm feeling pretty good. my mouth is still swollen and my teeth feel like they're going to fall off. i hope we win the case against the man with the black mercedes benz. my parents need the settlement money to pay all the expenses incurred what with all the ambulance and hospital stay.i haven't broken any bones yet, i consider myself lucky. by the way, i love everyone of you.

i feel inadequate and alone. like i did before.

i think this means i'm out for another bike ride.


i used to play with that. so long ago.




just look at that bottle. i pumped it up to 80psi with an air compressor and then i opened the bottle and boom! loud sound!
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oh oh oh!



look at 'er, my brand new bike. uhm. if you can call a used bike 'new' then. yeah. but it goes fast. too fast. i fell two times. and it hurted. yeah.

just experimentin'

my daily planner has become a jotbook for all my thoughts and ideas that come to me during the course of winter vacation. sorry folks, i won't be posting any pictures up today; i didn't take any. nobody comments anyways.i feel like im in a one way glass wall. i can see out but nobody can see in. yum. i am a victim of my own character of my own design. the conan bot has been loaded. i am but a robot, but gifted with a mind that can only see and think but cannot do. oh phooey.
started feeling down after 8:48 am. wallow wallow wallow!

The drops of rain they fall all over
This awkward silence makes me crazy
The glow inside burns light upon her
I'll try to kiss you if you let me
(this can't be the end)

Tidal waves they rip right through me
Tears from eyes worn cold and sad
Pick me up now, I need you so bad

Down down down down
Down down down down
Down down down down
Down down down down
It gets me so
Down down down down
Down down down down
Down down down down
Down down down down
It gets me so

Your vows of silence fall all over
The look in your eyes makes me crazy
I feel the darkness break upon her
I'll take you over if you let me

Tidal waves they rip right through me
Tears from eyes worn cold and sad
Pick me up now, I need you so bad.

Down down down down
Down down down down
Down down down down
Down down down down
It gets me so
Down down down down
Down down down down
Down down down down
Down down down down
You gets me so

i think that sums it up.

rainy days call out for an explosion of the creative mind when the outdoors leaves us with nowhere to go except inward, exploring the possibilitie of the human mind. i made this beat. i don't know where i left the creativity.

the drums.

improvised beat

i felt i had to make a remake of blur's song2.



let's talk =]

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the rain falls from the sky onto my roof. it is tired from the trip and stops to rest on the ground.

there is a strange focus when i wake up so early. it helps me concentrate.

i took this a few days ago. it was raining pretty hard and i attempted to take a picture of the rain in midair as it fell. the wind was blowing pretty hard and it gave it a change in path so that it would strike the ground at a diagonal angle. it looked violent outside. the most that this picture can give you is a more peaceful tone, unlike what was really happening.


at 5:47am, in the morning. from one room to another, it looked like the entrance to oblivion, the black eternal darkness. again, i had fiddled around with my camera to optimize what little light sources i had and bob's your uncle! there we have it.


so i took this picture of my backyard at night with no light. pitch black but this is what i ended up with. high iso speeds coupled with show shutter speed with a little boost from canon DiGiC imaging and voila!


so my bike got stolen, that's a given. my dad's friend wanted to help my case by giving me an old bike one of his sons used to drive. he knew it was small but stil wanted to help. so he gave it to me. my brother rides it now. i'm still bikeless.

so anyhow, who wants to hear my so so, yet sad story?

i wanted to go visit a psychiatrist-to-be but i called to confirm the suprise appt only to find out that she was a bit busy. so i rode around on my bike, checking out all the alleyways and such. oh! and there was a gigantic speedometer whatnot on top of a street light! i couldn't find out how it worked though. but back on the subject. i rode my bike for a while but had to use the restroom so i ducked into a kmart (after locking my bike securely to the bike lot in front) only to return to find that there was no bike to be found. bad neighborhood. those punks. and those sneaky sprint pcs people. so i returned to cindy's house.
and yeah.


now then thur, ain't she a beaut?


it's the door to my room.


look look!